(no subject)

Oh, the life of a housewife!

Such fun. I've accomplished much today, not the least of which was making myself sick off the chocolate cake we picked up yesterday. Ugh. Sometimes I have a lot of self-control, and sometimes I just don't. Like, profoundly don't. I would like to think it balances out, but then I see my fat ass and realise I might be a little off somewhere. Might want to think about that.

So. Got a couple of loads of laundry done, a lot of filing and organizing (tomorrow I will buy a massive filing cabinet and get things organized once and for all. I anticipate making such fascinating file tabs as "Miscellaneous," "Miscellaneous 2," "Stuff to Look at Later" and "Stuff to Have Jake Look at in Six Months When He Gets Around to It."), and went through 6 days of newspapers that I have not bothered to read. Note to self: Stop by recycle center soon. Out of all that wealth of information, the only thing I bothered to cut out for later perusal (aside from the numerous coupons I frequently cut out and never use) is this little article with tips for winter driving.

I have yoga class tonight. I am in desperate need of stretching. Hopefully my back will be more relaxed later tonight.


I haven't touched my knitting in TWO DAYS. Oh, the horror.

And I forgot to mention this when it happened, but I'm over it now so I will share. A couple of weeks ago Jake and I were at the mall supposedly looking for winter attire, and we passed by one of those typical trendy shoe stores you find in malls. You know the kind, with the high-heeled Converse and Strawberry Shortcake t-shirts on the wall. Anyway, I popped in for a sec just to look at a pair of boots that caught my eye, and as I walked out, the obnoxious pierced guy "working" there called out to me, What, are our shoes too scary for you?

I about died. I wanted to go back inside and strangle him with a pair of I <3 Justin shoelaces. Am I so matronly already? Do I look 80? WTF? I was too shocked to even send back my usual snide retort, and probably only managed a childishly defiant...Nooo!

Whatever. So I'm officially old and washed up. A real has been. Might as well go buy some Keds and a minivan.

From nalidoll

Create your own Evil Plan...

Congratulations on being the creator of a new
Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Destroy the Earth.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Hatred for all mankind

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first expose a pope. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, overwhelmed by your arrival. Who is this ripe bastard? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?


Stage Two
Next, you must vaporize the Pacific Ocean. This will all be done from a obsidian citadel, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will fall into catatonic trances, as countless hordes of mean english teachers hasten to do your every bidding.


Stage Three
Finally, you must tauntingly wave your secret death ray, bringing about the destruction of the masses. Your name shall become synonymous with all that is wrong with the world, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your unbreakable will, and the world will have no choice but to give you control of the planet.