Okay, a real post now.
Sep. 3rd, 2004 01:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valancystirlingWould it surprise you to know that even when I'm not here in front of the computer writing out my thoughts, that I still HAVE thoughts? Even ones I don't write down. Shocking.
So what's been weighing heavily in my mind lately is the idea that no two people, no matter how close, no matter anything, can have the same experience.
Jake and I live together, spend vast amounts of time together. And our lives are completely different. Even when we're in the car together, we are having totally different experiences. When he drives I get to be relaxed and observant, looking out the window, reading, knitting, thinking, spacing out, whatever. But at the same time, one foot away, he's paying attention to cars, having stressful near misses, making decisions, concentrating, things that are possibly memorable or unnerving, but not even really conversation-worthy. My head spins when I think about this.
I made a comment last night that we--people--can only share an experience to the extent they can describe it in words. Maybe this is why I'm so obsessed with writing so much in this journal.
So ten people can watch the same thing happen and later you'll get ten different stories about it. People notice different things. A shoe salesman might witness a murder and be able to describe the killer's shoes in great detail. I might witness a murder and remember minute details about the killer's great knitted sweater. Jake might witness a murder and have tons of details about the killer's body language, facial expression, with assumptions based on those things. It would be different for everyone.
So often Jake and I go on a mini-trip, or to the grocery store even, or whatever, and later one of us will make a comment about the experience that will totally floor the other person, because it is such a completely different description of the experience than the other person would have offered. I can have a great time somewhere and be shocked to discover that Jake was totally miserable the whole time, or vice versa. It happens all the time. It almost bothers me that I know we experience things so differently. I mean, it fascinates me, and a lot of times we do have similar experiences, but it's just overwhelming to think about.
Maybe this is why we seek out people who perceive the world in a similar way, so that we can share more, relate more, etc. Although I can see how it is also useful and fascinating to surround yourself with people who see things completely differently than you do and take different ideas and lessons from an experience. There is so much to learn. It makes me realise my perspective and ways of thinking about things really do affect so much of my life. I wonder to what extent my reactions to things are within my control, and if my outward reaction should fully reflect my inner feelings about a thing. Often I feel like if I don't express my true reaction I am being false. I'm not really sure about that now, though. How much of your inner self, via your open expression, does the world need to see? What should you keep to yourself, and is withholding your feelings really being false?
I have so much more to say on this topic later, but my mind is swimming. I should have written it down earlier when my thoughts were more organized.
So what's been weighing heavily in my mind lately is the idea that no two people, no matter how close, no matter anything, can have the same experience.
Jake and I live together, spend vast amounts of time together. And our lives are completely different. Even when we're in the car together, we are having totally different experiences. When he drives I get to be relaxed and observant, looking out the window, reading, knitting, thinking, spacing out, whatever. But at the same time, one foot away, he's paying attention to cars, having stressful near misses, making decisions, concentrating, things that are possibly memorable or unnerving, but not even really conversation-worthy. My head spins when I think about this.
I made a comment last night that we--people--can only share an experience to the extent they can describe it in words. Maybe this is why I'm so obsessed with writing so much in this journal.
So ten people can watch the same thing happen and later you'll get ten different stories about it. People notice different things. A shoe salesman might witness a murder and be able to describe the killer's shoes in great detail. I might witness a murder and remember minute details about the killer's great knitted sweater. Jake might witness a murder and have tons of details about the killer's body language, facial expression, with assumptions based on those things. It would be different for everyone.
So often Jake and I go on a mini-trip, or to the grocery store even, or whatever, and later one of us will make a comment about the experience that will totally floor the other person, because it is such a completely different description of the experience than the other person would have offered. I can have a great time somewhere and be shocked to discover that Jake was totally miserable the whole time, or vice versa. It happens all the time. It almost bothers me that I know we experience things so differently. I mean, it fascinates me, and a lot of times we do have similar experiences, but it's just overwhelming to think about.
Maybe this is why we seek out people who perceive the world in a similar way, so that we can share more, relate more, etc. Although I can see how it is also useful and fascinating to surround yourself with people who see things completely differently than you do and take different ideas and lessons from an experience. There is so much to learn. It makes me realise my perspective and ways of thinking about things really do affect so much of my life. I wonder to what extent my reactions to things are within my control, and if my outward reaction should fully reflect my inner feelings about a thing. Often I feel like if I don't express my true reaction I am being false. I'm not really sure about that now, though. How much of your inner self, via your open expression, does the world need to see? What should you keep to yourself, and is withholding your feelings really being false?
I have so much more to say on this topic later, but my mind is swimming. I should have written it down earlier when my thoughts were more organized.
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-03 11:01 am (UTC)Blasphemer!
Dammit.. where is the LJ Inquisition when you need them?!?
no subject
Date: 2004-09-03 11:04 am (UTC)