(no subject)

[valancystirling]

Shawn is such a freak. All he talks about is flies vomiting. I mean, come on! We're on the phone long distance and he's totally drunk, slurring every word, and talks about flies puking.

Comments

[goregoregalore.livejournal.com]

i heard they poop and vomit at the same time

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

I did not hear this.

However, if it is true, it means that flies are the most efficient creatures since the Germans.

Unless you were talking about me.

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

She was. Definitely.

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

I WILL LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC I SWEAR

AND I WILL SEND YOU A POSTCARD OR WHATEVER YOU WANT

PLEASE STOP PICKING ON ME

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

Stop replying!

I CAN HEAR YOU TYPING

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

WHERE ARE YOU? WHY CAN YOU HEAR ME?????

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we're not friends or anything. I hope that no one thinks that. The last thing I'd want for people to think is that we know each other. Or some such. That's just GROSS.

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

Trust me, no one is more repulsed by the idea than I.

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I have the cooties. And also I smell funny.

But, I'm not all bad. I still think you should come to Canada. So I can woo you off your feet and fight Jake in a karate-fu deathmatch, even though under other circumstances we could have been friends. You know how it is.

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

Jake loves you.

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

DAMN.

Well, that'll just make the blow that much harsher when I steal you away with my Canuckian charms.

I have the snow, and hockey, and EVERYTHING.

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

I AM MAKING YOU A SQUARE.

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

Well, thank GOD.

A square for a square. HAR HAR HAR

Seriously, come visit. There is stuff to see in Ottawa. And I can take you to the Elgin Street Diner for good eats.

Okay, this is getting pathetic. *stops*

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

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[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

Shawn says:

*robs off sobbing*

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

WHAT

I DELETED IT

THE EVIDENCE WAS DESTROYED

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

*runs off sobbing*

[liveshawn.livejournal.com]

As a point of interest...

I just wanted to let you know that you rule, Julie. I love talking to you.

Good times, good times. 8D

[fi.livejournal.com]

I have just read all of this and am falling off my chair from laughing. :-D