Responsibility, by Nali

[valancystirling]

I think this is so important that instead of trying to write my own summary of the concept, I'll just post a link to Nali's Rant, which is, as always, dead on.

Here.

I've gone through phases of varying childishness wherein I had an excuse for everything. I was my own spin doctor, and could twist anything to suit my purposes. In some ways, I was merely a character in a story I was creating as I went along. I like to think I'm getting better about acknowledging my own shortcomings and supposed "character flaws" (which, incidentally, I'm finding are not necessarily intrinsic and can all be repaired when the timing is right).

We're all responsible for ourselves and what we do, whether we think it affects other people or not. We're not five years old, people. Everything can change in one day, one HOUR, if you decide you want it to.

We're all going to screw up occasionally, and I also seem to go through phases wherein I do that a lot. But I think the point is to recognize things for what they are (good AND bad), take what lessons you can from it, and not dwell on it.

Comments

[acheron-hades.livejournal.com]

(Lazily not reading the linked entry) Hmm, I think it was a similar Nali rant a while back that made me feel disinclined to continue reading her journal (nalidoll, if you're reading: no offence intended, but we just don't seem to see eye-to-eye on this sort thing)

I've gone through phases of varying childishness wherein I had an excuse for everything. I was my own spin doctor, and could twist anything to suit my purposes.

Yeah, I've done that sort of thing too - it seems to be one of the negative aspects of being smart and articulate. I do think, though, that it's always worth digging a bit deeper in this sort of situation, asking questions like "what is being defended against?", and that sort of thing. There often reasons - sometimes even good reasons - for not wanting to do something, but they're seen as socially unacceptable, and so we cruft together more acceptable excuses instead. Sometimes it turns out that the be defensiveness has to worked through and overcome, but other times the thing being defended against is really and truly a bad idea..

Everything can change in one day, one HOUR, if you decide you want it to.

Erm, I'd disagree there. Everything can change in an hour if the universe decides it wants to; if it's not interested, there's nothing our puny little egos can do about it (other than stamp and sulk and cry and generally make us look ridiculous). The name of the game seems to be to clear the ego out of the way so we can sense the bigger picture, and then act when it needs us to act (wei wu wei), and sit around quietly when it doesn't... :)

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

glad you liked it, hon... and i am glad you are finding your own power within your life.

i had to go through my own phases of looking for and exploring all the possible loopholes in this, before i would accept that it was just wasting my time and energy.

i'm stubborn like that.

it's so simple and so comforting, now, seeing things this way, that i wonder wtf i was thinking before.

we're all going to screw up occasionally, some of us more spectacularly than others, and we're all going to run into things we can't change in the circumstances surrounding us. but our perceptions and our reactions are our own. and that is such a beautiful thing.