(no subject)

Here I sit with a whole carton of cookies and cream ice cream. If I weren't pregnant, I would probably rethink this strategy, but what the hell.

I was just at the grocery store, and I feel empowered. Why, you ask? Because I shoved a shopping cart at an old lady.

But see, there was a reason. For weeks now I've been commenting to Jake about how chivalry is dead, people are blatantly rude and obnoxious, and that it is NOT OKAY to shove your shopping cart into the gut of a hugely pregnant woman just because you think it's your turn to put your crap groceries on the conveyor belt. I've put up with it far too many times because I didn't want to start any trouble, but today I had totally had it. She pushed her basket right into me, and I ignored it. She did it again, and before I could even think about it, I SHOVED it back right into her. I don't CARE that she was probably in her 70s. That's plenty old enough to have figured out that you DON'T DO THAT.

I swear, I have been so pissed off by this kind of thing lately. It's been mainly men who have been so rude. It's not even that I expect special treatment because I'm pregnant. I expect to be treated as a human being worthy of courtesy, respect, and PERSONAL SPACE. And if you're blocking the door to the ladies' room, MOVE OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY, whether I'm pregnant or not. Several people have put me in positions where my tummy got crunched, which would piss me off if I WASN'T pregnant, but COME ON. There is a BABY in there.

Anyway, it seems that lately the only people I can show my true feelings of hostility to are women in the 70+ set. Madge and I had lunch the other day, and she annoyed the hell out of me all freaking day because she's so passive aggressive and...snivelling. I finally blew up at her and asked her if she had been like this her whole life. I told her 82 years of living on this planet should be plenty of time to get fed up with taking shit from people and to not tolerate it. Here's an example of how utterly exasperating she can be:

A few weeks ago she told me she wanted to go visit her family in England, but she couldn't go because she didn't want to put her beloved little dog in a kennel. Of course I told her I would be glad to watch him if it meant she could go to England. Oh, WOULD you?! I'll give you $100 for the week. Sure, fine, okay, whatever you say. The day before she's due to leave, I open my front door and find a card and a basket of fake flowers on my doorstep. Dear July, I don't know HOW you can forgive me, but my dog was sick and I took him to the vet and they want him to board there while I'm gone. I am SO SORRY. I will find some way to make it up to you. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Okay, WTF? I went upstairs and demanded an explanation. WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING TO ME????

So she went to England, and when she got back and we went out to lunch, she started it again. She tried to give me all this money, as "partial payback." So I just about exploded at this poor defenseless old lady, MADGE, STOP IT! I told her I was not going to fight with her over money, that I didn't need her money, that there was nothing to be sorry for. She almost started crying. I almost strangled her.

So yeah, it seems I have no problem being mean to old ladies.

But COME ON. The whole thing was so intolerably absurd.

Anyway. Whoever has the Julie Voodoo Doll out there can just quit it now. I know what you're up to. You've been reading all about every possible symptom or annoyance related to pregnancy, and you're giving it to me. Well, you can just stop now because I'm not that miserable. Yes, I'm itching like mad for no apparent reason. Yes, I did finally get a few stretch marks. AND I HAVEN'T COMMITTED SUICIDE YET. So just let it go. It's not going to break me. So there.

(no subject)

Something about this time of year makes me want to bake, and generally that means totally from scratch.

euhrasie's pumpkin spice muffin recipe is first on my list. I bought three little pie pumpkins today and we just finished scraping the guts out and separating the seeds to toast later. Four halves are baking now. I figure, you can never have too much cooked pumpkin in the fridge, just waiting for those spur of the moment fall baking urges.

The other day we were at Target, and we picked up a 2 liter bottle of diet Coke. Jake had his hands full already, so I carried it. I started thinking about it in terms of its weight, and then asked Jake (who knows everything) how much two liters of liquid weighs, and if it weighs as much as the baby supposedly already does. We decided that with everything that's sloshing around in there, I'm basically carrying around a couple gallons worth of weight every single day. No WONDER everything is a gigantic effort these days. Weird to think.

One week from this morning, my midwife will be making a house call. So I have until then to have this place picked up and presentable. I got a ton of work done on the closets this weekend, but there's now a huge load of stuff to go to Salvation Army at some point. It's going to have to be soon because we're going to trip over it and break our necks if it stays here much longer.

My mom just got home today after being gone for nearly a week, only to find that her apartment had been broken into and ransacked. We suspect it was this guy who's been staying with my sister and her husband (in their STUDIO APARTMENT???). My mom has lots of reasons to think it was him, and to top it all off, the window was clearly broken from the INSIDE. He had my sister's key. When I last talked to her, they were waiting for the police to show up, so they hadn't really gone through it yet to see what was missing. My mom said her jewelry box had been raided, but strangely enough, only the fake stuff was taken, and everything else that was actually worth something was left behind. Very curious. She says the place looks like they were looking for something specific. I can't begin to think what.