For the love of fuck

[valancystirling]

What is wrong with this stupid world?

We have people writing bullshit like this http://kris1225.livejournal.com/2006/04/28/

You know what? No one ever said nursing was easy. It's probably that much harder at first because so many of us have never even seen a breastfeeding mother in our lives. But this article paints such a bad picture.

I never imagined I'd turn into one of those boob nazis. But sorry guys, I've turned into one. Yes, breastfeeding is a huge commitment, concerning your time, attention, energy, emotions, and control of your body. And I'm terribly sorry if being a mother is such an inconvenience that you can't possibly do any more for that damn kid after dragging it around for nine months already. Fine! You've done your part.

I just don't understand. I hear so many stupid reasons people choose not to breastfeed, or why they weren't "able" to breastfeed. And while a very small percentage of those reasons are legitimate, so many are just insane stupid. Please. I understand why you would feel guilty if you couldn't make the commitment to your child. But don't try to justify it to me with reasons I can shoot out of the sky in my sleep. Just be honest and say that you couldn't be arsed. We'll all be a lot happier with that out of the way.

Having said all of THAT, I think it's a tragedy that so many women are uninformed and alone in this. You really do have to find resources, and people to help manage. It's bizarre that breastfeeding takes actual learning, and practice. You'd think it would be totally natural, instinctive. And it is, once you get the hang of it. I just wish help was easier for women to find when they really need it.

/end controversial rant

Comments

[darkenedminds.livejournal.com]

Amen.

I've been sucked into Attachment parenting by my sister in law and brother - the two unlikeliest AP parents. I'm not a kid or baby person, but I swear, bias aside, 90% of the reason my nephew is so pleasant, I attribute to breastfeeding and other AP parent type things. I doubt I'd feel as attached if he were constantly crying or throwing up orange formula throwup. My mother was an AP-type parent minus breastfeeding, and is very defensive about all of it. Same typical reasons. And my siblings and I turned out fine, but I can't help but think we may be better off if she had breastfed us more than a few weeks. Three kids who tend to be overweight, two with terrible eyesight, two with leaning quirks, me with terrible eczema.

Its only been very, very recently that she actually believes me when I tell her about some benifit or dispel some myth of hers - I literally had to yell that she takes my 19-year-old-nursing-assistant-medical-laboratory-technician word for advice and medical "translation" when family members are ill but she never had when it came to babies. My sister's the same way, but is more openminded (as in, i explained why elective Csections aren't so great, and believed me when i said babies shouldn't be exposed to nuts when i smacked her hand away from giving our nephew a tiny taste of brownie).

Seriously, I'm not a parent yet and won't be for many years, but some of this crap just makes me feel like that Hathor icon of yours :/

[pinesandmaples]

Three kids who tend to be overweight, two with terrible eyesight, two with leaning quirks, me with terrible eczema.

And the many women who did breast-feed for years have 100% healthy children?
My mom breast-fed all four of us for at least 2 years each, including tandom nursing TWICE. She still got four overweight kids with medical problems.

Breast feeding is a good thing, but it's not the magic cure-all you seem to be making it out to be. Genetics, environmental factors, and life-style trump if children may or may not have been breast-fed. The benefit is there, but you can't blame medical problems like this (esp. if they occurred after the age of 5) on how a baby was fed.

[darkenedminds.livejournal.com]

"but I can't help but think we may be better off if.." Hello, does that sound like I was saying many women who did breastfeed have 100% healthy children? I don't know where you're getting "cure-all" from.

I only mentioned my siblings and I's problems because they -did- occur before age five (i already know of the other factors you listed and more). Who said blame either? Its a factor and nothing more.

[gingerkat.livejournal.com]

Sounds like it was pure laziness. For bonding purposes, and for health reasons it is the best thing in most cases. It's not going to prevent every problem in the book, but scientific studies verify that it does have quite a few health benefits. To me having kids seems like a huge sacrifice that I'm not willing to make at this time. If I were to make that decision, I think that the commitment is serious. And that includes enduring discomfort, lack of sleep, and expending time and energy to breast feed as only a small part of that commitment. It makes me feel a bit uneasy if a mother is whining about what a pain in the ass it is. Just what is going to happen for the needs that the baby requires throughout the rest of it's life?

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

In all honesty, sometimes it IS a huge pain in the ass. That doesn't mean it's not worthwhile or that we don't want to do it. But I like what you said about understanding that it IS a huge commitment and you have to be aware of that.

Sometimes I really wish it was more okay for women to just admit it that being a mother very often sucks, but that it's still the most incredible thing we can experience. I think it bothers a lot of people to hear the truth about it. I feel like the world would be a better place if this topic were better understood.

[gingerkat.livejournal.com]

I'm positive you are right about it being a pain in the ass. I've seen you with your thrush horrors, and different friends, relatives, and patients dealing with lack of sleep and time along with pain. I guess it should really be ok to tell the truth about the experience rather than pretending that you are supermom and can handle it all. Outlets are necessary! But you obviously realize what's best for your baby and aren't going to avoid those things due to things being difficult.

[aliyna.livejournal.com]

WTF AND: The author of that article CANNOT do math:

"The truth is that a newborn will nurse up to 12 times a day for weeks, if not months."
Then:
"The every-two-to-three-hours schtick is just something they tell you so that the weaker ones won't panic."

THERE ARE 24 HOURS IN A FUCKING DAY MORON. ONCE EVERY 2 HOURS OVER THE COURSE OF 24 HOURS IS 12 TIMES! sjdafkjashdjashdjsahdjkahdjk!!!!

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

Stupid woman. I'd rather spend 35 hours a day nursing than writing crap like that.