(no subject)

[valancystirling]

Today I'm feeling anxiety in waves. I'm picturing the ocean, waves crashing on the beach, receding quickly, over and over.

I'm not sure what the problem is. I haven't felt like this in a while.

Do I dare consider PPD? In the early months it was certainly a problem. I'm supposed to have it all under control by now, right? And mostly I feel like I do, but today...

I'm worried about money, which is insane because we're better off than we've been in ages. The fact that my biggest financial concern at present is that I can't stop spending all my camera money on Starbucks. Poor thing.

I just realised I had't had any water all day. It's 2:15. I jsut drank a huge glass and I think the anxiety might have been caused by that. That, and the fact that all the windows were closed and the air was getting a little stagnant. So now I've opened some windows and just feeling the air circulating is settling my mind.

See, it's these little things that I consistenly forget about (myself) that keeps me fucked up perpetually.

Tomorrow I'm going to inform my pediatrician that I've decided not to vaccinate Topaz until she's at least two years old, at which time we will reevaluate based on circumstances at that time. I also don't think I'll be bothering with "well-visits" because they're a waste of time. The whole point of them is to vaccinate, and to expose your well child to all the sick kids in the office. No thanks. I don't hesitate to take Topie in when there's something the slightest bit off, so I'm not anti-pediatrician, but I don't necessarily believe there's any reason to take her in as frequently as they recommend. Maybe a few well-visits a year, but not the full schedule. Nice compromise?

Comments

[spoothbrush.livejournal.com]

We were talking about vaccinations in my seminar this afternoon (related to autism) and somehow the wait-until-two-years thing came up... the prof., who apparently went through this with his own kid, mentioned that waiting until 2 years is generally not considered to be a problem. So if your pediatrician has issues with this, I'll see if I can find out who his kid's is.

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

That would be great. It seems the vaccination issue is often a dealbreaker for pediatricians, and they can drop you for it. Being Binghamton, there's probably not a lot of options. I'm interested to see how it goes tomorrow at this appt. I'll let you know if I'm suddenly in the market for a new dr.

[spoothbrush.livejournal.com]

By the way... I'm pretty sure that the diagnostic thing for PPD says that you can have it any time in the first year. I think.

[valancystirling.livejournal.com]

How lucky for me. Every day I learn something new about how all-encompassing PPD can be.

[aldenmacrae.livejournal.com]

My friend Marin told me the same thing--she had some substantial PPD, I think, and she told me recently that she'd been really surprised when she found out PPD can happen any time in the first year or so.

[aldenmacrae.livejournal.com]

Tomorrow I'm going to inform my pediatrician that I've decided not to vaccinate Topaz until she's at least two years old, at which time we will reevaluate based on circumstances at that time.

I'm glad you mentioned this; I was going to ask if you'd decided what to do -- I read some of the articles you linked to, and I found it really difficult to try to imagine what *I* would do.

I mean, you see doctors on tv shows saying, like, 'Ma'am, do you love your baby? Do you want your baby TO DIE? Then VACCINATE YOUR BABY OMG!' and if I'd seen that a couple of years ago, I'd have agreed. I mean, when I was in England and one of the regulars (who wasn't a great mother, in my opinion; she toted her 3-4 year old over to the pub every damned day) said she refused to let her son have the MMR vaccination, I remember thinking that she was the biggest idiot in. the. world.

But I was 22 or 23 then, and I didn't ever want kids... and now, thinking about it, I really don't know what I'd do. I mean, I think I'm ok with the idea of vaccinating a child before it starts going to school, but even then I think I'd be a wreck. How do you take even a tiny risk with your child?

So anyway, I was hoping you'd post more about what you decided. Yay, you did! I hope the doctor-visit went ok.

(Also, randomly, you know how a lot of American parents will have chicken-pox parties when one child comes down with chicken pox? So their kids will all get chicken pox quite young and they'll 'get it over with,' etc.? Well, every single person I talked to about that in England was APPALLED and thought it was further evidence of how stupid Americans are.

So, just because something's usual in our (or ANY) healthcare system--like the 'well-visits' you mentioned, for instance--doesn't mean it's the best option. I love it that you're standing up for what *you* think/feel/know is best for your family.)