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Dec. 18th, 2007 10:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valancystirlingOne of the last remaining true pleasures of my life is a good cup of coffee. And even though I have lots of evidence that it is bad for me and makes me feel worse in general, I have to believe that the sheer enjoyment of it must tip the scale in its favor at least a little.
I really will drink some healthy tea later, I promise.
My to-do list is, as usual, quite out of control and I am strangely okay with it at the moment. I know that whatever really has to get done will get done, and whatever doesn't...well, couldn't have been that critical anyway.
I was reading in the Ithaca Child newspaper yesterday about what our behavior during the holiday season says to our kids, what message they're picking up. Even though I don't really have that many people to shop for, and I certainly don't have a wild social life this year (which I kind of miss, actually) with parties and gatherings and commitments, it has still been somewhat chaotic and stressful. I swore to myself that I would NOT commit myself to knitting tons of gifts this year, and I didn't. I have made a couple of little things for small children, which is the most enjoyable kind of knitting there is, and that's it. I am content with that. Last night I finally got some real joy out of the season when I bought Jake some presents on Amazon. It really made me feel *good*. The rest of it...not really. It's just technicalities and obligations--many of which I've made up for myself as part of this image I'm trying to create. Should all the neighbors get cookies? Who knows, but I bought lots of pretty tins and cookie ingredients. I did go a little crazy buying stuff for Topaz and my niece, but that was just so much fun I couldn't help myself. Anyway, back to the point. Does Topaz see all this as mommy having fun? Or is it mommy heading for a breakdown? Is Christmas about shopping? Baking? Wrapping presents? We claim to be Christian but the kid had never heard the word "Jesus" until last weekend when Jake's mom had her nativity set out and explained it all to Topaz. Jake and I are going to the bookstore this weekend and we're going to get her a book of Bible stories and maybe a Christmas book. I'm still not sure what my official position is on anything, but it seems crazy that I haven't figured it out and my kid is already 2.
Danielle and her gang are coming over in a little while, as we haven't seen each other in weeks, and we have stuff for each other that we've been accumulating for all that time. I finished Nevin's sweet little hat this morning, and I can't wait to see it on him. I'm determined to make one for Topaz and the new baby too at some point. Topie LOVES the hat and wants it for her baby doll. No, I won't make one for the doll.
So I've been semi-frantically tidying up the house this morning, more for my own sanity than for having company, and Topaz has been following behind me, systematically undoing every bit of it. I wonder what the actual ratio is of toys I put in her playroom to toys she drags OUT of her playroom. I should really get a nanny cam so Jake can see what my day looks like when he's not here. Oh, that would be fun.
I hear her in the living room repeating French words back to the TV. Which reminds me, I was going to look for the book that I found out goes along with the DVD. Yay, ordered for 31 cents, used on Amazon. Fabulous. Not that I even care if she learns French. I don't know French, I can't help anyway.
I must be terribly distracted lately, because yesterday I fell and nearly killed myself. I was sitting on the couch going through a stack of recipes I've been pulling out of magazines all year, and when I stood up to throw some in the recycle bin, my foot was asleep but I didn't realize till it was too late. It was like my foot was not even there, and I collapsed, fortunately only mildly twisting my foot and banging my knee. So my foot is a bit sore today, but I can live with that. Good grief. Topaz was very concerned and came right over to take care of me.
Okay, seriously, this looks like the coolest thing ever. I might have to buy that.
And I'd like to get one of these for Jake, but I haven't looked locally. I should get on that, I guess.
It's so hard to not fall into the consumer trap. It's hard not to want STUFF.
I really will drink some healthy tea later, I promise.
My to-do list is, as usual, quite out of control and I am strangely okay with it at the moment. I know that whatever really has to get done will get done, and whatever doesn't...well, couldn't have been that critical anyway.
I was reading in the Ithaca Child newspaper yesterday about what our behavior during the holiday season says to our kids, what message they're picking up. Even though I don't really have that many people to shop for, and I certainly don't have a wild social life this year (which I kind of miss, actually) with parties and gatherings and commitments, it has still been somewhat chaotic and stressful. I swore to myself that I would NOT commit myself to knitting tons of gifts this year, and I didn't. I have made a couple of little things for small children, which is the most enjoyable kind of knitting there is, and that's it. I am content with that. Last night I finally got some real joy out of the season when I bought Jake some presents on Amazon. It really made me feel *good*. The rest of it...not really. It's just technicalities and obligations--many of which I've made up for myself as part of this image I'm trying to create. Should all the neighbors get cookies? Who knows, but I bought lots of pretty tins and cookie ingredients. I did go a little crazy buying stuff for Topaz and my niece, but that was just so much fun I couldn't help myself. Anyway, back to the point. Does Topaz see all this as mommy having fun? Or is it mommy heading for a breakdown? Is Christmas about shopping? Baking? Wrapping presents? We claim to be Christian but the kid had never heard the word "Jesus" until last weekend when Jake's mom had her nativity set out and explained it all to Topaz. Jake and I are going to the bookstore this weekend and we're going to get her a book of Bible stories and maybe a Christmas book. I'm still not sure what my official position is on anything, but it seems crazy that I haven't figured it out and my kid is already 2.
Danielle and her gang are coming over in a little while, as we haven't seen each other in weeks, and we have stuff for each other that we've been accumulating for all that time. I finished Nevin's sweet little hat this morning, and I can't wait to see it on him. I'm determined to make one for Topaz and the new baby too at some point. Topie LOVES the hat and wants it for her baby doll. No, I won't make one for the doll.
So I've been semi-frantically tidying up the house this morning, more for my own sanity than for having company, and Topaz has been following behind me, systematically undoing every bit of it. I wonder what the actual ratio is of toys I put in her playroom to toys she drags OUT of her playroom. I should really get a nanny cam so Jake can see what my day looks like when he's not here. Oh, that would be fun.
I hear her in the living room repeating French words back to the TV. Which reminds me, I was going to look for the book that I found out goes along with the DVD. Yay, ordered for 31 cents, used on Amazon. Fabulous. Not that I even care if she learns French. I don't know French, I can't help anyway.
I must be terribly distracted lately, because yesterday I fell and nearly killed myself. I was sitting on the couch going through a stack of recipes I've been pulling out of magazines all year, and when I stood up to throw some in the recycle bin, my foot was asleep but I didn't realize till it was too late. It was like my foot was not even there, and I collapsed, fortunately only mildly twisting my foot and banging my knee. So my foot is a bit sore today, but I can live with that. Good grief. Topaz was very concerned and came right over to take care of me.
Okay, seriously, this looks like the coolest thing ever. I might have to buy that.
And I'd like to get one of these for Jake, but I haven't looked locally. I should get on that, I guess.
It's so hard to not fall into the consumer trap. It's hard not to want STUFF.
